Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Am I a Human grown up yet?

Well , we moved out of my father in laws house a couple months ago. And well normally grown husband and wife would have moved into their own place. Well, I am hoping that God just doesn't want us on our own because we moved into my grammothers. We moved for reasons I just cannot post online. So as we are here over the holidays which were awesome. Jacob's father has asked that we come back and fix up the basement of the house as ours.......You know sometimes in a womans life a momma's life, a wife's life you just pray for your own space. I have even found myself praying that the army will draft Jacob (he used to want to be in the armed forces his want not mine) but I just have this need to be June Cleaver somewhere of my own. My own living room, kitchen, food, bedroom. But, i do not feel it is in my life plan. We , for some reason keep getting pulled back. Now we are not financially secure and we cannot afford our own place. Jacob has been moved down to part time AGAIN. he is on midnight shift AGAIN. So the comfort level of living with someone who is home at night is comforting...but still at 29 years old you would think that you know, we would have the house , 2 cars, life insurance you know all that responsible stuff that you should have before you turn *gulp* 30 years old. And when things don't follow your line you don't yet feel like a grown up yet. You feel like people look down on you because of how you live....and that is sad....I pray my sons go to a good college, get a good education, find awesome jobs (would be great if they were missionaries or president but i will keep my dreams for them)...I pray my sons find awesome and great wives that support them. I pray they get the house across the street from us....But above all I pray that they give God all their faith, hopes and dreams. This is where i tie all those loose ends in here at the end lol....I am almost *gulp* 30 years old, I am going to move into my father in laws basement (you know maybe that is cool because now i feel alot younger), I have 2 boys that i raise in the arms of Jesus Christ, I homeschool, I stay at home, I support my husband in the choices that he makes for his family....I know that God has us..and because of something silly like a living condition, well I'm just thankful that we have a roof over our heads, family that care and love us , a God who got this and is almighty, I know God's will , will be done in my life, as my husbands, and my boys. That is what i pray each and every night. I get overwhelmed, depressed , angry at times . But, i trust in my Savior not to look down on me in disappointment , I am his daughter, the princess of a great and mighty King who so got this.....
well until next time
God bless